Godspeed 2021...

What am I?
Who am I?
Where am I?
Why am I?

Where do I belong?
what's my purpose?
is this the right era for me to be born?
why am I here again?

Do you feel alone?
do parties make it better?
have you known love?
have you known loss?

have you seen the light?
have you fell into darkness?
is this the deepest you have gone?
are you sure it can't be worst?

sure it can't be better?
that this is the bliss, the goal of your life?
are you afraid of losing what you have?
won't take that chance fearing what?

there's nothing else to do
time is up, nowhere to go
regret and memories, that's all you have
regret of what you didn't do, memories of everything else

Carta #11: July, or another month

Com você eu nunca poderia
precisar suas intenções, seus desejos
probablemente um impulso desejoso, 
tal vez uma forma de conhecer profundamente

Meu amor, olha la! brotam rios d'ali
somente acontece com você, eu nao acredito!
um garoto gostoso tenho aqui
vai embora, dame leite do seu pito

Nossa atração foi simples, nao tenho duvida
gostamos de mais, precisávamos companhia mútua
eu, sozinho, querendo amar, voce anhelando voar
juntos bebemos, falamos, gritamos, sonhamos

tivemos algumas oportunidades, logo foram menos
foi curto nosso romance, mais ainda me lembro
lembro dos momentos, dos instantes
das risadas, de ser amantes

Carta #10: Breaking Dawn, break me all (Part II)

Breaker (breaking too)

what use can I give to flowers over a rotting body?
crying a river over the love you shot
uttering words without looking me in the eyes
rest assured darling, your future is in an oblong box

The lines of this history, I saw, wrote before
karma comes and teaches me love, hate, hurt
I asked you about your visit, your reason to come
impossible to speak it, to see me, it hurts

Since then I knew, fear got you all along
I know you little one, I've been there before
the signs of fear, of you, of loving even more
it freezes, it stops, it incites you to jump

Back to your seat, the comfortable one
your life is settled, why change it at all?
searching all your life, feel tired now love?
found something better, so good it scares y'all

Good bye darling, thanks for all
for remembering me that I still feel all
love, anger, hate, sadness, patience, hurt
I'm feeling, I'm alive, I'm gonna do better, gonna eat it all

Carta #10: Breaking Dawn, break me all (Part I)

Dawn (sunrise, beginning and end all along)

I am in control, you thought all along
this is just sex, a fucking great fuck
the cock has a brain, great small talk
good morning darling, the party? was ok, you know

He needs a little company, poor thing all alone
a couple gifts, a kiss, it'll feel better, I know
so nervous, I don't know what to do
I'll stay a couple hours... oh shit, I missed the curfew

when did I happen to fall for him luv?
my perfect life is in danger, he already loves me too
fuckin' honesty, I hate you for saying it all
go get a girlfriend, stop feeling, bother me not

Why did I met you, why did you come?
how come you existed and never met?
my life was perfect, until you sprouted
my bliss controlled, I yearn for your cum

Putting distance is the way I know
pretending we never existed, a way to run
won't tolerate you hurting more
I'll put you to sleep, I'll hurt U my luv

Unable to look at you, to see you hurt
sorry pretty pup, I'll shoot, but not look
take, have some biscuits, the ones you love
nibble while you bleed, stop breathing, woof!

No letter today, fuck y'all

Can't stay awake in this world of lies
she still lies in the floor, pretending to be dead
it still moves, convulsing, defying
it only cares for her pleasure, her insides

it's hard to live with a throat full of pride
pretending to be almighty, miss know-it-all
its hard to fill a mouth full of lies
but easily fits the shape of my ... ties

still underestimating my feelings?
thinking I'm ridiculous for wanting to cry?
I don't care, it's my fucking life
why do you pretend to care, when I'm only a fat cock to fit inside?

I'm a stupid
I just want to fall in love
I'm addicted to love, to hugs, to cuddling...
I want somebody to care for, that cares for me...

I want  to cry, to feel, to scream
it's hard to pretend, to be strong
to stand tall, proud, powerful
there's no rest for me anymore...

what do you know about a man's pride?
do you take me only for a cum provider, a bulging cock?
shut up, don't talk, don't fell, just fuck
ram, buff, breathe, sweat, cum

Gorgeous cumdump, that's what you are
glorified pussy, same as all
you think yours is the best of all?
nothing is about you, you're the same to me, all

Carta #9: Little girl from affar

It was a whim of a flicker heart
a movement, a desire
a wish from mi burning eyes
I want her, she must be mine

I chose to talk to her, to prove me right
I'll claim her to be mine
couldn't have dimensioned the true might
without pretending, you meant it all

I watched you suffer, for him, for all
ignored my feelings, intended it to be raw
our encounters of feelings, sex, claw
the markings on our skin, body, soul

Our heart knew it, mind denied it all
we were in love girl, we wanted all
denial of the mind was nothing at all
everything really matters, you, me, all

Carta #8: Merry Xmas love, broken heart

Lo arriesgué por ti, lo que tenía en ese momento
el amor que nunca tuve, la aceptación, que tormento
inexperiencia  inocua, percibí tu valía
de mi propuesta escandalosa huiste despavorida

Somos los inmortales, jóvenes octogenarios
de encuentros casuales, hoy, mañana, cada mil años
hablamos telepáticamente, entendemos de nuestros agravios
nos enamoramos de mortales, compartimos sueños legendarios

Encuentros predestinados, místicos, mágicos
de amigos, parceros, compinches gregarios
novios, amantes, seres enamorados
consejeros, maestros, alumnos... los eternos nos hemos deseado

Conversaciones eternas, sexo inconmensurado
hablamos de todo, callamos sin recato
las palabras sobran cuando nos hemos amado
gritos, gemidos, sudor, lágrimas, todo fluido hemos degustado

Somos eternos, lo hemos hablado
con palabras miradas, cuerpos abrasados
arde el cuerpo al ahora tenerte
corazón solemne, amarnos eternamente

Reflexiones de fin de año...

 Aún ahora, luego de 27 años de la muerte de Richard, mi hermano mayor; aún luego de haber entendido que ese suceso un 20 de noviembre de 1994 marcó mi existencia... aún así, la nostalgia se apodera de mi en estas épocas. No importa si estoy acompañado, amado, solo, desolado. Surge esa sensación, esa melancolía, esos recuerdos acompañados de alegrías y tristezas. Sensaciones que por décadas pretendí esconder en fiestas, en borracheras, en risas y momentos felices; intentando llenar esos huecos que va dejando la vida con lo que pudiera encontrar. Esos huecos no son para ser llenados, sino para dejarlos así, abiertos. son los espacios por donde fluyen constantemente mis sentimientos, mis emociones; son los pozos de agua que alimentan y nutren mi existencia. Son las pruebas de que soy humano, de que siento, sufro, amo.

Estoy empezando a reconciliarme con mis tristezas, a entender y aceptar que son parte de mi. No debo alienarlas ni ignorarlas. Están allí para mostrarme que he resistido, que me he sobrepuesto, que he logrado sobreponerme a retos que consideré imposibles, de los que creí jamás despertar. Las voy a seguir sintiendo, porque son muestra de lo mucho que puedo amar, y la añoranza que dejan quienes finalmente se van.

Así como algunos se van, otros llegan, y con ellos la esperanza, la ternura, el amor. las ondulaciones de esta vida mortal que la hacen tan especial, y la certeza que todo algún día tendrá un final.

Por esto y mucho mas, valoro cada instante que tengo para vivir, sentir, amar...

Carta #7: love affair, luv U inside

It was only a night, covered with light
we started like a fight, early with sunlight
would you believe it could end with might?
my body over yourself, covering our strikes

A stroke of luck gave us the chance
kissing we could've started our cause
a drinking game, begun, begone
stroking each other, reaching our hearts

The wildest dreams  were not fair at all
madness within us, inside us, all along
panting, moaning, gasping in the halls
not even running at the sound of the gong

Gave you everything and nothing at all
the day, the evening, all night long
even my memories lost in da mall
in that evening you wore a thong

We won't be a memory, we prayed along
an instant we chilled, not playing at all
life went along, breathing the bong
tomorrow we'll see, see ya my luv

Carta #6: Goldilocks & the bears

Ya ni recuerdo cómo nos encontramos
el momento inicial en el que pactamos
este duelo inicial, furtivo que amagamos
nada fue real, todo lo inventamos

La cueva de los osos fue donde iniciamos
tragos, destilados, risas, así iniciamos
ebrios dormidos, amaneceres acompañados
la excusa de la traición, chispa que iniciamos

¿Quién bebe más? ¡El mas fuerte, el más macho!
concursos que siempre perdía, cargando con sus burlas
acuéstense a dormir, sigan en otro lado
mañana será otro día, duerme a mi lado

Levántate en medio de la noche, consumemos nuestro pecado
seré tuyo y tu mía, en este momento, a este lado
cada segundo es precioso, prueba mi perlado
silencio amada mia, no gimas con descaro

Entre cielo y tierra nada hay oculto, canta el bardo
falso de toda falsedad, dice este entramado
nos amamos intensamente, sin reservas, con descaro
mil años han pasado, no hemos errado

Carta #5: Sexy Cecyl

Com você a vida foi forte
nao entendo o que viu em mim
jovem, inocente, sem experiencia
fala de suas aventuras, querendo ser habilidosa

Eu tive que fazer o curso rapidinho
compreender as dinâmicas selvagens das relações
de novo, o mundo é ruim|, obrigado
Entendi as malas que devo ser forte, nao bom

Ainda me pergunto hoje
porque decidiu você ficar longe de mim
cadê o amor que falou
demando fidelidade quando somente quizer liberdade (libertinagem)

foi um tempo longo
uma eternidade curta
um quinto a minha vida então
um décimo agora não

pouco sabia eu sobre amor
mas devagar entendi a realidade
as formas existem no interior
o mundo somente é banalidade

Amei sua admiração por mim
sua paixão desmedida
suas histórias e mentiras
lecções todas para minha vida

Carta #4 Wonder how, wonder why (wonderland)

It's hard to speak with a throat full of pride
feeling powerful, yet vulnerable
I know everything, but I've experienced none
On the web I've learned it all, I need you not

A different love you were
saw you grow, become greater
potential I saw in your manners, mind, grey
beautiful you become in my eyes, your life, away

From the begining you got my heart
I had no weapons, strategies against your smile
straight with your words, hard to my heart
thoughts had no sound, only feelings running wild

I gave you all, mind, soul, heart
wanted you to become whole
gave my life another meaning, art
you went away, ripping, leaving a hole in my heart

The most innocent love you were
wished you the best, gave you my all
convinced of your words I was
all I gave you wanted, not from me, but him, your true love

Carta #3: Peach skin, lusting body

La tentación estuvo presente desde el primer instante
prohibido era tu tacto, mucho menos lícito mirarte
Nada de ello te detuvo, de lanzarte, desearme
no sabrías que hacer conmigo, me perseguiste, deseante

Momentos furtivos pasamos, presentes y distantes
te interesaba estar conmigo, sin preocuparte mi acompañante
anhelabas mi contacto, vernos, desearte
que conveniente era la hora, el día, el instante

Algo nos detuvo por momentos, incesantes
una distancia insalvable, un anhelo, reprensión acalorante
lo nuestro, prohibido, intenso, itinerante
fuimos descubiertos, pusimos pausa, no hay avance

Mil días pasaron, cambié, cambiaste
evidente tu deseo, confianza exuberante
mujer empoderada, sabedora, deseante
exigias acciones manteniéndote distante

El orgullo me detuvo, exigiendo deseo hacia su parte
no actúo sin decoro a menos que sea suplicante
no soy una marioneta, eso lo se, desafiante
aún no estamos listos, nivelar el asunto, al instante

Tu piel refleja el recorrido divagante
hay una vida descrita en dibujos, instantes
estamos preparados para este bello instante
cada uno en su lugar, suplicante y desafiante

Carta #2: Diane Prince

 Curly hair, goldilocks
Skinny, thin, soft, smooth
So fragile your movements, dance, enjoy
wonder if your passion matches your moves

Saw you dancing like a full pro
floating eager, happy to flow
distance given by your role
soon it'll be over, coming close

Out of nowhere a day you wrote
started a conversation, hi, a note
Like it was nothing you came (home)
hours later we were on our own

Days passed by, started to enjoy
feeling alone, not anymore
wrongly wished for something more
lust was part of it, not anymore

As it begins it ends, a chat, a song
silence was the beginning, the end, all
despair, anger, sadness, felt alone
i just wanted to feel again, be.... loved

It was pretty clear, you know
the end of it, the reasons for all
even if I enjoyed the sex, the joy
not even once I was able to cum

Carta #1: Mary of the light

En la escuela te observaba
en tu dorada melena me perdía
inalcanzable en mies pueriles aspiraciones
cerca, lejos, al lado, distante

Por años te vi a la distancia
alta, imponente, desafiante
más fuerte y poderosa que los demás
yo siendo un niño, inocente, anhelante

Miles de amores viví, nunca y siempre distantes
estuvimos al alcance, indiferente, al instante
eternidades pasaron para que estuvieras a mi alcance
nuestras manos, cuerpos, un beso apasionante

Juntos para siempre, por breves instantes
perteneciendo a otros, tic tac andante
fuimos uno del otro, eternidad palpitante
mil besos, uno, te perdí, anhelante

¿Acaso me faltó para incitarte?
Más grande, fuerte, varonil, excitante
Decisión, determinación, exigir, hablar, fascinarte
Tal vez hoy sea capaz, mil años después, de amarte

Liberdade

Pode que você está pronto para compartilhar suas emoções com outros
pode que você sinta que é a hora agá para abrir seu coração ao mundo
pode ser que o amor tenha o primeiro lugar na sua vida
pode ser que você já tem pronta sua vida para amar..

pode, más lembre-se:
 a gente ainda tem medo
tem medo de amar
medo de olhar
medo de admitir suas emoções
medo de repetir os erros
medo de sofrer
medo de chorar
medo de viver
medo...

Você não tem certeza do futuro
não tem certeza do amor eterno
não tem certeza do seu trabalho amanhã
não tem certeza de despertar de novo
nao tem certeza...

Somente temos certeza da imprevisibilidade, da realidade sem control
somente podemos deixar o medo ao lado e viver sem medo...

Isso é a verdadeira liberdade

Mortis

We spend our life trying to get recognition
to be someone, to be known, success, intermission
becoming someone else, down to submission
do you even dare to achieve your mission?

I desire to be alone, be on my own, addition
understand my own love, hate, suspicious
a journey to become the king of the mission
a life of my own, myself, recognition

Want to be unknown
to start anew
like never before
is it reincarnation for what I long?

Do you care about my thoughts?
the feelings coming out of my guts
insensitive, you pretend to be though
keep hiding behind your smile, eyes speak truth

Fear is what stops you from
living your life, moving along
safety is not existent, dream on
love is what you fear, fear of love

Have a good life my love, see you on the other side
sorry to miss you so soon, for feeling, for life
must be a stupid before your small eyes
grateful for your pitty, this puny little man

Futuro o ahora

Pretendes comprender lo que la vida trae
eres un avatar que se deja llevar
proyectas al mundo un espectro ideal
llevas adentro un tormento irreal

Llena tu boca de un enorme ideal
orgullosa pregonas, ahogada en irreal
nada me controla, siquiera irreales
oye, mira la hora, vuelvo a mis hogares

Quiero pertenecer, no veo la hora
a un lugar, espacio, como en otrora
todo muy tranquilo, bello, sin esporas
¿el caos es mentira?, existe, devora

Soledad valorada en otrora
Vida tranquila, inocua,  azora
Me encantaría abrazarte ahora
Perteneces a otros tiempos, seres, ágora 

Disfruta el momento, ese dichoso instante
Vive el tormento de pensar en adelante
Orgásmico lamento siente penetrarte
Único presente al que te entregas, dejaste 

Tortuous bliss

This bliss is mine to enjoy
Darkness awakens to destroy
Emotions stronger than ever before
Harder than ever rises above

Dance dance little fly
Reach  me here, cum and try
are you capable of being dry?
Talk me show,  don't be shy

Rumbling around each day
ramming inside every gap
drowning with that revolting side
feelings are called, coming outta da tap

Wishing to get even more
not prepared for it anymore
lusting for emotions of old
briming with joy (n)ever before

Blissfull momentos trick my mind
Do you really believe in love in this life?
Eternal utopia of a simple life
Pain is the constant, the pauses trick you aside

Good evening love, have a lovely night
see you in the morning when the sun won't rise
next day probably, jokes aside
you know I write this with pen, ink and heart

Trickster

 Are there any views other than yours?
Is there even desire to question yourself?
dare to walk in others shoes?
Is there a center of the universe besides you?

Dare to relinquish your fate to the heart?
Admit your feelings and enjoy the run?
Flow, feel, sin
Cry, laugh, fuck 
Suck, scream, gasp 
Wider, tighter, cramp

Fear is also feel, distance never enough
Convenience to yourself, too much dough
I told you, remember, of what was to come
It was my excuse to ignore you all along

Dare to face life head on?
hiding on silence, people who won't hum
so smart, so cute, smile, it won't hurt
trick the trickster, sure, that'll work

Night of the living dead

Demanding full disclosure
you're  silent as a graveyard
Beautiful as a tombstone
Bodies walking in the yard

Everything rotting underground
Choke in your fumes, bodies around
Colorful flowers up on top
Hiding the truth, screams and rots 

Hiding corpses under your thong
Skeletons in the  closet, between us, among
Raise and shine after the gong
Living dead dancing to the song

Ta tatata tata filling the voids
Humming in silence, screaming boys
Crap, I've just fell  smiling in joy
Tripping again, same error of old

Amazing it is this feeling of joy
Hateful resentment, powerful boy
Feeling again, scream coy
Madness arises, again it returns

The one

I am the desire
I am for hire
I am the fantasy
tearing you up from inside

I am the heat
I am the fire
I am the lover
taking you high

I am the admiration you want to pursue
the ideal lover that knows your moves
reads you like it's nothing
guides you with his great groove

I'm your fears bringing all down
terrified with the thought of leaving it all
makes you follow the rawest desires
lusting for him, for me, for all

Distrusting yourself when I'm around
Fearing that I'll rip those lips down
trembling legs, stuttering mouth
surrender yourself to lust, my love

Wanna control what I do around?
If you manage to, it'll not be me, huh
pretending to ignore the drippinng clog
it's unstoppable, it'll explode

Surrender yourself to the daring truth
you're a coward incapable of
accepting your feels, chasing your lust
staying calm, motionless, numb

Sendero del deseo, pasión inmortal

El camino del despertar
nada surge del azar
nada requiere ser servicial
mirada al frente, eco mortal

Entrega libremente tu ser astral
navega vehemente este lodazal
esa, tu amante, casi irreal
será tu condena triste mortal

Avanza guerrero a tu final
tendrás ayuda, eso es real
truncan tus esfuerzos de avanzar
eres eterno, nada por amar

Trasciende el deseo, ego, amar
convierte el sueño en lo real
teme el mundo lo que has de desatar
la ira del eterno, la era ideal

Sigue tu camino, persigue tu ideal
asciende la colina, atraviesa el mar
desciende al averno, reta a satanás
asciende al olimpo acábalos sin más

El triunfo será haberte conocido
haberlo logrado sin miedo, sin suspiros
por un pasado inexistente y desconocido
seguiste fluyendo, creciendo entre impíos

Entrégate completo al devenir irreal
fluye y se obsoleto, eterno ideal
debes complacernos para poderte adorar
mantente en tu juramento, lo debes crear

Tienes este momento para ver y suspirar
contempla el firmamento, no lo vas a alcanzar
salta entre círculos, nueve en total
saluda a kerberos, ponle su bozal

Has muerto para mi, me asquea estar
en este pútrido mundo que debe reposar
el anhelo de cabalgarme y lograr avanzar
succiona otro poco y me debes abandonar

Objeto utilitario que anhelas provocar
moverme en tus hilos, hazme bailar
danza marioneta, salta sin cesar
cumple tus trabajos, hazme delirar

Muero para el mundo, triste y mortal
recuerdos turbios que prefiero remembrar
El camino de los dioses debe perdurar
convocados por deseos que hacen anhelar

Godlike

 life is really like
nothing similar said mike
fucking shit, take a hike
dike, pike, mike alike

take care then and now
mow wow take now
thinking while we travel by
a galaxy deeper than my

mushrooms grow searching light
humid places are alike
mirror reflexing my insides
pucking you out of sides

going high in my life
heavens rise challenging my
fortune and fate comvoluting while
we dance to the high, GodLike